"The Great Technology Gap" or "Re: Self Esteem and Self Image"
The following was shared by a certain, unnamed family member. It chronicles the rise and fall of emotions that are inherent when a person tries to combine age and technology. (Ha!!!) Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Whether it's wrong, unbiblical, prideful, or even sinful. I've got it. Today, I can whip (in Texan that is "whup") Mike Tyson, take Michael Jordan in a one on one, win the world series of poker, or even cook better meals that Martha Stewart. And, what has brought on this sudden wave of cocksure aspirations, you may be thinking at this moment? It is because I have entered the high-tech world of computers, electronics, and digital communications. I switched from "DIAL UP" to DSL - all by myself! Thank you very much. I got the CD, I inserted it into my DVD-rom combo port. It began to give "HIGH-TECHNOLOGICAL" commands to which I responded with flawless skill and optimism.
My wife inquires as to what I am doing. I tell her I am engaged in a high level operation that rivals anything the CIA, FBI, ATF, or even the President of these United States have ever been engaged, going back to the French and Indian war. I'm switching from dial up to DSL.
" How are you doing that? she inquires."
"I'm following this electronic marvel called a CD and it is working great, I understand everything it is tells me to do."
"It must be written in third or fourth grade level language then," she says with warm encouragement.
Undaunted I challenged that false and sarcastic remark: "It is not, its all in easy to follow pictures. "
In record time, I installed all the filters, I installed the eithernet cords and the phone cords. Now I am ready to turn it on. I hit the appropriate icon, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. My wife tells me to call my son, the computer whiz. I angrily tell her to mind her own business. I am the conqueror!
Actually, what it was, is that every time I call him for advise, he asks, "Have you rebooted the computer?"
"No I haven't."
"Then try that."
I reboot, and all is well. I was buying time to get my wife out of the room so I could reboot. Finally, she left, more because of the tension level than anything else. I rebooted, still I sit and wait, the little yellow DSL guy on AOL is running in place and nothing is happening. Finally, I did what every self respecting computer techie would do, I called my son.
I listed all the symptoms. He asked, if I had change my connection command from "Home Net Work" to "Broadband." Then it hit me. I had read that earlier in the instruction guide. No I haven't and besides it couldn't be something that simple. If it had been that simple I WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! DADGUMIT! But, it was that simple, I clicked on the drop down box, clicked on broadband, and the dumb thing started working.
My wife enters and wants to know if it is fixed.
"YES! is my gentlemanly, Christ-like reply." She didn't take the hint.
"How did you get it to working?"
In hushed tones I replied, "I called my son."
Laughter, nothing but laughter, mocking laughter.
And what do you think that did for my self-esteem and self-image? Oh, shut up - you don't care either.
Whether it's wrong, unbiblical, prideful, or even sinful. I've got it. Today, I can whip (in Texan that is "whup") Mike Tyson, take Michael Jordan in a one on one, win the world series of poker, or even cook better meals that Martha Stewart. And, what has brought on this sudden wave of cocksure aspirations, you may be thinking at this moment? It is because I have entered the high-tech world of computers, electronics, and digital communications. I switched from "DIAL UP" to DSL - all by myself! Thank you very much. I got the CD, I inserted it into my DVD-rom combo port. It began to give "HIGH-TECHNOLOGICAL" commands to which I responded with flawless skill and optimism.
My wife inquires as to what I am doing. I tell her I am engaged in a high level operation that rivals anything the CIA, FBI, ATF, or even the President of these United States have ever been engaged, going back to the French and Indian war. I'm switching from dial up to DSL.
" How are you doing that? she inquires."
"I'm following this electronic marvel called a CD and it is working great, I understand everything it is tells me to do."
"It must be written in third or fourth grade level language then," she says with warm encouragement.
Undaunted I challenged that false and sarcastic remark: "It is not, its all in easy to follow pictures. "
In record time, I installed all the filters, I installed the eithernet cords and the phone cords. Now I am ready to turn it on. I hit the appropriate icon, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. My wife tells me to call my son, the computer whiz. I angrily tell her to mind her own business. I am the conqueror!
Actually, what it was, is that every time I call him for advise, he asks, "Have you rebooted the computer?"
"No I haven't."
"Then try that."
I reboot, and all is well. I was buying time to get my wife out of the room so I could reboot. Finally, she left, more because of the tension level than anything else. I rebooted, still I sit and wait, the little yellow DSL guy on AOL is running in place and nothing is happening. Finally, I did what every self respecting computer techie would do, I called my son.
I listed all the symptoms. He asked, if I had change my connection command from "Home Net Work" to "Broadband." Then it hit me. I had read that earlier in the instruction guide. No I haven't and besides it couldn't be something that simple. If it had been that simple I WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT! DADGUMIT! But, it was that simple, I clicked on the drop down box, clicked on broadband, and the dumb thing started working.
My wife enters and wants to know if it is fixed.
"YES! is my gentlemanly, Christ-like reply." She didn't take the hint.
"How did you get it to working?"
In hushed tones I replied, "I called my son."
Laughter, nothing but laughter, mocking laughter.
And what do you think that did for my self-esteem and self-image? Oh, shut up - you don't care either.
Comments
His wife...
Stacy
Mom